Since I bugged Justin for so long to send me this pic, I figured I should at least post it. Here I am as JT's last minute wedding date. 

Peer Mentor

I am a peer mentor to a group of 12 first year law students. I am supposed to show them how to succeed in law school. Funny thing is, I haven't figured that out myself so how in the world am I supposed to pass it on? My grades are average (slightly below average as of this semester, which incredibly is still above a 3.0), I'm not overly involved in extracurricular activities, I rarely spend more than half an hour on my homework (if I do it at all), and I still have no job lined up for the summer.

My roommate, on the other hand, is the picture of law school success. She spends at least 5 hours a day doing schoolwork, made straight As last semester, and is going to be making 2 grand a week at a big Charlotte firm this summer. She, however, was not chosen to be a peer mentor. (Law school politics is a vicious thing).

My point is that I'm grossly underqualified for my position.

Many times I feel like that as a Christian...grossly underqualified. How can I share what Christianity is all about when I fall short in so many ways? I'm certainly not qualified to be called a child of God.

That's what I like about Christianity. We don't have to be perfect. In fact, calling yourself a Christian is the exact opposite--admitting we aren't perfect and that we need grace to save us. And God will use us despite our flaws to do his work.

So I found out recently that two of my mentees have been suffering from depression since they got to law school and I decided to share my story with them. They both expressed gratitude for my openness and concern, and relief to know they weren't alone. What they needed the most wasn't a mentor who knew all the secrets of success, but one that had struggled and could listen and understand. Turns out I was perfect for the job. :)

Calling People Out

okay so it looks like things are getting a little ugly on my blog. i guess it is now public knowledge that i kissed both justin tanner (thanks for getting that out in the open, jt) and jason grier back in my younger days and also that courtney kissed ed and jason (whoops dont know if that was out yet)..oh and the mystery guy at the park that night. REMINDER: all of this took place many, MANY years ago. anyway, i think a little clarification is in order so people do not get the wrong idea.

for anyone who did not grow up in dillon, you may not know this (although you probably do): there is not much there besides south of the border. the same is true for the guys, not much there. slim pickings as some would call it. anyway, with nothing to do to cure boredom, many people (i being one of the misguided few) resorted to kissing as a mode of entertainment. i am not proud of this behavior and i in no way condone it. however, i will disclaim by saying that in this little game of ours, i was definitely nowhere near the winner's seat (in fact about 20 people behind those in the lead). actually there probably wouldn't have been a winner, but instead a sudden death round between two of my friends (names not mentioned), but im not sure because i dont know the exact numbers and a certain guy who is now married may have been in the running as well (you know who you are).

so with all that being said, don't judge unless you too spent your high school years in dillon county and know what it was like. those were desperate times. i mean, i may even recall the saintly justin tanner taking me back to his house when his parents weren't home...or maybe that was just a dream. who knows? i'm just glad we've gotten calmer and wiser in our old age...well, some of us. :)

For His Glory

Ok so now a serious blog. This one is just to praise God for what He's being doing in my life even when I don't deserve it. For a while, actually for over a year, I've been in an imaginary valley. I say imaginary because I didn't have any logical reason to be there...I had a loving supportive family, a ton of friends, a guy I was head over heels for, and I had just gotten accepted into law school. I felt blessed beyond belief.

I guess what triggered it was leaving the life I loved so much in Clemson behind and starting over in a very scary place, leaving behind a town I adored, all the friends I had grown so close to and the guy I knew without a doubt I was supposed to be with. So deeper and deeper I sunk under this invisible weight. I have never been an unhappy person so I couldnt understand what was happening to me. Nothing made me happy anymore and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't make myself see the bright side. I quit talking to God because I just didn't know what to say and He felt like a stranger to me. I took all my pain out on the person I loved the most and he loved me enough to stay faithful despite the toll it was taking on him. In the end though, it did its damage and we were over.

I kept my struggles from my family for a year when finally I couldnt hide it anymore. I did things to hurt myself, but they ended up hurting the ones I love even more. My lowest point was seeing the pain I caused in the tears of my family members as they all sat around me trying to comfort me but feeling helpless.

I tell all this even though it's very personal because I want it to glorify God. I turned my back on God for a year and yet He still remained faithful. He got me out of a valley when I was ready to throw in the towel and give up. He mended my heart and he mended my relationships with ones I had hurt. He healed me like no medicine could. His promises are all true; He will never leave you. Today I can praise God for the blessings in my life and I can say that I'm happy.

I can't tell you what happened to change things. I don't really know. One day it just felt like God lifted the burdens that had been weighing me down and told me He would carry them for me. And He has. And I know that if for some reason I lose my way again, He will still be there, waiting patiently for my return. In the meantime, I will wait patiently for His. :)